Reaction fic to 5x04
by IrethEarfalas
Summary: "Adam kicked me out of the Adam's Apples after he found out I was engaged". No way is Adam a bad guy no matter what they may want us to believe, so here's what I think happened between Kurt and Adam. There's a lot of angst, as well as mentions of Klaine.


"Kurt Hummel is engaged to Blaine Anderson"

Adam stopped scrolling mindlessly through his Facebook newsfeed once he saw that shocking update. He couldn't say he was really shocked that Kurt had gotten back together with Blaine, considering that Kurt had broken up with him precisely because he was torn between the two of them and needed time to be single and figure things out. It was a 50-50 chance and Adam wasn't exactly the luckiest guy around. But this…this was entirely expected. Who gets engaged a week after they start dating again? Only people who are so confident about their future together, who have been dreaming about their future together for ages. And that's what really hurt this time, that reopened the wounds that may have recently started to slowly heal after Kurt broke up with him. Kurt couldn't really be sure of a future with him even when they were happily together, but he very readily agreed to marry the cheating bastard who'd broken his heart. Once again, Adam was second best, and that too, in comparison to someone as awful as Blaine. Adam couldn't bring himself to think kindly of the guy at all, not when he'd seen Kurt so broken because of him. And Adam couldn't accept the fact that Kurt would so readily settle for someone like Blaine and in fact had already settled for him. Adam turned off his laptop and tried to distract himself with anything he could think of. But he ended up crying himself to sleep that night.

The first time he saw Kurt in person after the engagement was during an Apples meeting. He couldn't help it when his breath caught upon catching sight of the gorgeous man, just like he couldn't help his heart from dropping when he looked down and saw that god-awful ring. He mirrored Kurt's awkward smile when they made eye contact, then proceeded to avoid Kurt for the whole meeting. It hurt too much to be around him and to keep looking at the ring that said that Kurt would never be his again, had never actually been properly his despite him giving his heart entirely to Kurt. So when practice was over, he called out to Kurt to stay behind, hating what he was about to do, but not seeing any other way to keep himself functioning properly with a broken heart. He needed to stay away from Kurt if he ever wanted to get better.

"Adam?" Kurt asked, not knowing what to say once everyone was gone, leaving him alone with Adam for the first time since the breakup.

"Kurt," Adam replied, buying himself more time to think of what exactly to say. It didn't help much.

"There's no easy way to say this," he finally began.

Kurt just looked at him expectantly, a little bit of anxiousness visible in his eyes.

"I think it's best if you leave the Apples."

"Huh?" was all that Kurt managed to say in response. He should have seen this coming, but he just couldn't imagine sweet, selfless Adam kicking him out of the one place in NYADA he felt most at home.

"Look I don't want to do this Kurt," his voice cracking upon seeing the distress on Kurt;s face. "But I don't think I can go on pretending everything's ok when I keep seeing that ring remind me that nothing's ok."

"Adam, I-" Kurt couldn't think of what to say to make Adam feel better, not when he was the reason for his pain.

"I'm sorry," he finished lamely.

Adam didn't say anything back, his head hanging and his eyes shining with tears. Kurt desperately wanted to cry too, but he couldn't even let a single tear drop because he knew Adam would just swallow his own tears and reach out to hug Kurt. He had no business being comforted by Adam, in fact he should be the one comforting Adam. But no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't even hug Adam or take his hand because it would only hurt him more. They weren't friends like that yet, maybe they would never ever be, but no matter how much it hurt to think that way, he had to do what was best for Adam. Because he couldn't think of anything more wrong in the world than the perpetually happy ball of British sunshine crying. He had to stay away so that Adam could smile again, and Adam could only smile when he was with people who were not Kurt.

"Take care of yourself Adam," he added, because Adam really needed to start caring more about himself and less about other people.

"You too", Adam looked up at Kurt, because Kurt also needed to start caring more about himself and less about others. "I mean it."

They smiled sadly at each other before Kurt picked up his bag and turned around, waiting until he was out of the auditorium before sinking down against the wall and breaking down in tears. He didn't care about the people who gave him curious glances as they walked past him, nothing else mattered except that he'd lost Adam, and he'd also lost the Apples, some of his closest friends at NYADA. It hurt even more to know that Adam was crying inside, he could hear him.

A week passed, and somehow Kurt hadn't come across Adam even once in school. He strongly suspected that Adam was going out of the way to avoid him. He really hoped Adam was doing well. It was currently time for the Apples to practise, and Kurt suddenly found that he had an hour and a half of free time with nothing to do. Well, not nothing. He had to go get Rachel out of her funk about Funny Girl. He even had the perfect song picked out, "Get Back", but he had imagined the whole intervention happening back at their Bushwick loft. He supposed he could just do it now.

Rachel seemed to think that everything was all fine and dandy with him and she was the only one who had reasons to be upset because he "just got engaged!", and that was so wrong that he just wanted to shake Rachel. It was because of his engagement that he had lost one of his best friends, someone he had even been in love with him. But in the end he decided to be nice to Rachel and not shake her because he had sought her out to cheer her up after all.

"True, but I'm not pinning all my future happiness on it," he replied before continuing with his pep talk.

In the end, he ended up having so much fun singing with Rachel. That was something he really missed at NYADA, which he got to do back in New Directions or when he was part of Adam's Apples - singing pop songs. He really needed to do that in front of an audience. And what better way than by starting his own band? You know what would be really fabulous? A Madonna cover band! The thought cheered him up considerably since his dismissal from the Adam's Apples.

Adam was shocked to hear about Finn. He'd never met the guy, but he'd heard Kurt, Rachel and Santana all talk about him and he felt as though he knew him. He couldn't believe life would be so unfair as to take him away now, when he had finally figured out his calling and was working hard for the bright future ahead of him. He couldn't even begin to imagine how Kurt must be feeling. He hadn't spoken to Kurt for ages, but he had to now, just to see if there was anything he could do to help him or make him feel better. He waited outside Kurt's classroom at the end of the day, and his heart ached when he saw him walk out, face drawn.

"Kurt?"

Kurt looked up with a sigh. He really couldn't deal with any more people pretending to be sympathetic but actually looking to satisfy their morbid curiosities. His brother had just died, and he needed to be able to grieve in peace, without having to deal with any assholes for once in his life.

"Adam?" he asked shakily once he realized who it was.

"I heard about Finn," Adam started. "I'm really so sorry, Kurt."

Inwardly, Adam cringed. What a clichéd thing to say. But he didn't know what else to say, didn't have any words to talk about something so tragic.

"Thanks," Kurt managed to choke out.

"Is there anything I could do to help or…" Adam trailed off. There was nothing he wanted to do more at that moment than to hug Kurt, but he wasn't sure Kurt would want him to.

"Adam…please don't," said Kurt. He really did appreciate Adam coming to find him, to offer comfort and help, but he didn't want his friend back for this reason. "I don't want you to start talking to me again just because you feel sorry that my brother's dead."

Adam was a little taken aback by the sudden harshness in Kurt's tone. "No, Kurt, that's not just why I came here. I really do care about you, so much, and I-" Adam was cut off as Kurt started speaking again.

"Would you have been willing to see me today if not for Finn?"

Adam just stood there speechless, because obviously he wouldn't have. He still couldn't think about Kurt without feeling his heart hurting.

"See," Kurt said more softly. "I really want you to want to be my friend, because I want to be yours. And I don't want you to start talking to me again because of this."

"I get it," Adam said. "I'm really sorry, Kurt."

"It's ok," Kurt replied. "I uh- I'll see you around."

"Wait, Kurt! Can I hug you at least?"

"Please."

They stayed in each other's embrace for a good three minutes.

Kurt was excited. He had just put out the ads for his new band, which would not be a Madonna cover band because that would be too limiting, and was now telling Santana, Dani and Rachel all about it. He did come up with the idea because he needed something fun to be a part of after Adam kicked him out of the Apples, but now he was really looking forward to it and he wasn't upset about Adam anymore. He knew they were going to be friends again eventually. He just knew.


End file.
